Too often when we say we are
waiting on the Lord we are actually waiting on the Lord to give us something: a
new home, a job, a husband, a child...
What I'm finding in my
own waiting is that each day I find myself waiting less and less on the Lord to
provide another child for our family and I'm finding myself leaning more and
more on Him just for my needs for today. If today is the day I meet my next child,
I'll know He will provide enough for today.
He can do more in my
waiting than in my doing I can do. He knows what I need for today. He will give
me what I need today.
I'm reminded of when the
Israelites were in the desert and the Lord supplied bread each day (Exodus 16).
It was pointless to store it up, it would be bad the next day, and besides the
Lord would supply new bread the next day, why would you want that old stuff? He
was simply trying to teach that He was enough, each day. One day at a time.
I'm seeing more and more
that my life is less an opportunity to experience education, marriage, a house,
children, traveling, retirement, and so on and much more about experiencing and
needing Him. I thought I needed the Lord when I was single but I realized I
needed Him more once I became married and saw how flawed I really am. I also
learned how much more desperately I needed Him once I had a child. I need a
fresh dose of His patience, love, and understanding each day to supply to my
son. And boy do I need His forgiveness and mercy at the end of each day when I
know I've done it all so imperfectly. Each of these life milestones are
God-given opportunities to need Him more, serve Him more, love Him more,
"For now we see in a mirror dimly but then face to face, now I know in
part, then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." I believe
God is the only one who knows me fully, and is ultimately doing whatever He can
to bring me closer to Him. What I may view as 'obstacles' to the things I want
and can't control, He is using as a way to woo me into realizing that each of
those 'experiences' fade but my relationship with Him starts here but goes on
FOREVER.
That is not to say the
Lord isn't using my marriage, my home, my child, traveling, etc as a way to
reveal Himself to me or provide for me in abundance and communicate His love
for me in the form of gifts I don't deserve. My husband is certainly a gift I
don't deserve and my son is a miracle walking around. But as soon as the gifts
God gives become the focus of my attention, rather than the Giver of all gifts,
my 'waiting' on the Lord is in vain.
Lamentations 3:22-23
reminds me "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never
come to an end; they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness God.
He will provide what you need
for today and don't worry about the rest. I have dozens of scriptures floating
into my mind each morning speaking about the Lord who provides, Jehovah Jireh.
Sometimes He provides in abundance, sometimes it's just enough for today, but
it's always enough. He is enough to quench any desire or longing. He is enough
to provide for any need. HE is always enough.
