This is How He Does It...

This is How He Does It

The Lord has really been fighting some evil thoughts in my mind lately:

You’re not good enough.

You don’t have everything you need to parent well, or even OK.

You are weak.

You are tired.

You aren’t strong enough.

You won’t love enough.

You don’t have enough support.

I have two friends who have adopted and each told me to be on the lookout because in these next few months we will be entering a spiritual battlefield. The enemy will try to strip my marriage of joy, my life of support and encouragement, and my day of time. Pray, pray often, ask others to pray for you and pray for that birth family. That birth family is being faced with a choice that no one can really ever be prepared for.

The first time we started the adoption process in 2013, this is just about the part in the process when I found I was miraculously pregnant with my son so I’ve been a little weary lately. Way too many people who don’t understand our excitement about this unique journey to parenthood have been saying, “Watch out! You’re going to end up pregnant again!” and laugh about it. I can’t say how grateful I am for the opportunity to experience pregnancy and have my son against all odds this world threw our way BUT I am equally excited about the fact that God has called us to adopt and giving us this unique opportunity to get to know Him as a parent so imagine how confusing and actually sad it was for my husband and I to pull out of the adoption process three years ago.

We are thrilled to be back to this point and feel God used that season three years ago to better prepare us and give us even more anticipation and excitement about this time around. We are also seeing where we lacked a lot of friends and support three years ago whereas this time we feel the Lord has given us so many more supports, prayer warriors, and friends than we had the last time around. We can see where the timing of this unique journey makes more sense with my newfound work schedule and position. We can truly see the Lord’s hand on our progress this time. But that means we are prime real estate for the enemy to try to tear down what the Lord is clearly taking our family.

As I’ve felt that pressure and that push to question God, question myself, question everything about this process I’ve been finding myself talking scriptures and reminding myself of God’s promises to me more and more this week.

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:37

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.

Ephesians 6:16

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

There’s so many more but these are the ones that I keep praying through whenever the enemy has a hold of my thoughts and it happens so many times throughout every single day that I have to stop what I’m doing for just a moment and remind myself of everything God has promised.

Two things have happened over the last week that have confirmed to me that God is not just here in a spiritual sense, He is walking right beside us in a PHYSICALLY and quite literally holding our hands.

A few weeks ago Chad’s truck broke down and after pushing it home he found out the part he needed to fix it would cost $233. He’s been putting it off to save the money but over the years we’ve found that the truck and our Corolla (Chad’s main vehicle to work) break interchangeably. As soon as the truck is broke down, the Corolla needs repair and so it’s gone for a few years. That’s why it’s been really nice to have the two vehicles; they’ve both been paid off for the last 6+ years so why not keep them both so there’s always a backup for the inevitable repair. Knowing that the truck needed to be fixed soon I opened the mail on Friday to find a check, dated 8/13/15 for $240.61 from our doctor from a service dating 10/22/13, the birth of our son. Apparently we overpaid our doctor by $240.61, almost the EXACT amount of the part for Chad’s truck with tax.

This is how He does it. This is how the Lord operates!

How would that check have taken two months to arrive in my mailbox? How did it take two years to discover we overpaid at the birth of my son?! The Lord knew we would need that money exactly when we did.

Even more recently, Chad had to pull an all-nighter last night because of an audit going on at work so even though he just worked a 16-hour day he stayed up all night to work through his to-do list for work and even some of our home study paperwork. I stayed up all night with him because historically I’ve always done that as a way to support him, that dates back to every all-nighter he pulled getting his engineering degree. I launched our Facial Fur for a Family fundraising website almost entirely by myself (even with my lack of technical skills) and somehow finished it!

This morning I woke up after a 2-hour nap with more energy than I’ve had in weeks. I woke up with joy, I felt the mercy of the Lord splash over my body and rejuvenate me in a fresh way. I woke up our son for school and even he was in a wonderful mood full of sweet hugs and smiles. We woke up with time to spare to enjoy breakfast together at the table before leaving to take him to school. I had a FULL morning planned and felt almost certain I wouldn’t be able to get it all done and I’d end up working late and SOMEHOW I got seven different errands in three sections of town done in my first 2 hours of the day!

And icing on the cake, the enemy whispered all kinds of mess in my head about how unsuccessful this beard fundraiser would be and how I was wasting effort. Let me tell you we already have over 65 separate views and 7 “votes” sold within the first 10 hours of having the website live!!

This is how He does it. This is how the Lord operates!

All day long I had the song “It is Well” playing on my phone and I was able to share God’s goodness with several women this morning and offer up the things He’s doing to encourage me as an encouragement to them in some things they are facing.

Well now, you’ve got me pinned on a lot of things but I’ll own it:

I’m not good enough…BUT GOD IS.

I don’t have everything I need to parent well, or even OK…BUT GOD DOES.

I am weak…BUT GOD IS STRONG.

I am tired…BUT GOD IS RELENTLESS.

I’m not strong enough…BUT GOD IS.

I won’t love enough…BUT GOD ALWAYS WILL.

I don’t have enough support…GOD SUPPLIES ALL MY NEEDS.

BUT GOD.

“BUT GOD” is how my son came into this world and “BUT GOD” is how our family will continue to operate. It is well with my soul no matter what the world has for me, God has overcome the world and I trust Him.

Brown Sugar Molasses cookies were made for some special women in my life: my son’s teachers, they are always so kind and understanding even when my toddler is not. Another batch was given to a friend and volunteer who had a birthday this week and continues to deliver even having changed to a full-time job where I know it’s inconvenient but she does it with a willing and joyful heart, plus she always makes me laugh. And a third batch to another friend who volunteers who is starting a new prayer and encouragement group and has included me; I know the Lord has given me her sweet spirit over this new season of parenthood and I’m excited to be a part of this new weekly encouragement/prayer group.

I’ll add the recipe in just a bit, but I had to get my gratitude for this past week out there to any of you who maybe needed to hear that the levee will break soon! Hang in there, your “BUT GOD” is right around the corner!!

There is a place...

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52 Dozen. Week 40.

There is a place I am wanted. There is a place where I am desired. A place where I am beautiful.

There is a place where I will be included. There is a place where I will belong. A place where I never feel the sting of rejection.

This place is warm, inviting, loving, caring, inclusive, comfortable, and safe.

In this world there will always be those moments where rejection, whether intentional or not, takes over your heart and makes you want to hide from everyone, not knowing who will be the next to hurt you.

I remember when I was a kid and we didn’t have Internet, much less social media. You didn’t know you were missing out on something you weren’t invited to unless someone mentioned it later and even then you didn’t have the pictures in your face reminding you that you weren’t invited. You didn’t know when people were intentionally seeking time to build friendship with others and not you. You weren’t constantly reminded that you don’t belong or shown your deficiencies through the perfect lives of others. Back 20 years ago as I entered adolescence I can’t even imagine how I would have responded to the constant parade of perfection in life, friendship, and family on social media. I remember the constant desire to be included, to be liked, to be loved, and to be accepted. I struggled, hard.

And then I remember when I finally found Christ, or rather He found me.

We grew up in a traditional Methodist church near our home, which was full of the ‘popular’ kids in my school. I can’t say I knew much about Jesus outside what my mom taught me at home. At church I don’t remember learning who He is, His love and affection for me but I do remember saying the sinner’s prayer at the age of 7. Then my dad came to an interest in Christ and my mom agreed we would switch churches to one of his choosing. He chose a large Assemblies of God church near downtown Orlando. Within a few short weeks of attending I found the love and acceptance of Christ through a program called Missionettes. I quickly invited Christ into my heart and surrendered my life to Him having a much better understanding of what that meant. I was instantly surrounded by girls my age who were equally interested in have a life led by Jesus Christ. Within a few short months I had memorized dozens of scriptures, witnessed to countless friends in my middle school, started leading worship at our church’s children’s church. I even acted in a Christian-based film produced by our children’s pastor. Any of my former Sparkle girls reading this?! Holla!

Right before entering high school I completed the three-year commitment to Missionettes which ended in a beautiful ceremony called a ‘crowning’ where each girl dressed in white and is presented to the church by her family.

Entering high school the Internet slowly started to get noticed by my friends, but just enough to have email (which I still did not for 1-2 years) and then AOL Instant Messenger by my junior year. By then, I had a pretty well established circle of friends who were good influences, encouraging, inclusive of one another, supportive of one another, and even protective of one another, most of these girls were my bridesmaids in my wedding. A few of my close friends through high school probably should have been bridesmaids but I had to stop at 7…7 bridesmaids seemed like plenty. Throughout high school I did have a few encounters with other groups of girls who were not good influences and were making different choices with their life that I knew weren’t something God would have wanted for my own life and I must admit I followed them in quite a few unwise decisions but for the most part I look back now and see how God protected me. He guarded me from developing deep relationships with those who would hurt me or lead me astray.

Even in college I see how God led me to the right ministry where He would be able to keep constant contact with me in worship, prayer, and fellowship. I see how He surrounded me with a new set of friends who would love me, accept me, and be inclusive of me. I saw how God taught me generosity with my time, talent, and even treasure with my close friends.

By college I saw social media take off! In fact I joined Facebook when it first opened up but only to those with “.edu” email addresses and therefore only included college students. Although my husband and I went to high school together, Facebook is how we reconnected and ended up meeting up and eventually dating. Facebook is where I first invited my husband to hang out and invited him to church, where he later accepted Christ.

Social media grew to be a primary way to find friends, social circles, organizations and clubs to join, and form a base for who you would surround yourself with.

As an adult social media has become a place to share my life with my family who lives far away, for them to see snapshots of our life hundreds of miles away and maybe help that distance feel like less.

As I think through all the positive that has come from the growth in social media throughout my life I can’t help but see another trend, that I am also most guilty of.

Social media has excused us from real relationships; talking as often is no big deal because we ‘see each other’ on Facebook. I don’t need to ask what you think about a particular issue and have a conversation about it; I can see what your thoughts are by what you post on Facebook. I don’t have to ask you what’s going on in your life and how I can pray for you, I can see all that on Facebook. I am so guilty of this, but I’m afraid our whole culture is now.

Who are our real friends? The ones we share our heart with or the ones who ‘like’ all of our Facebook posts?

I know Facebook and other forms of social media have brought some simplicity to things like inviting people to an event or organizing one but I can see where true friendships have grown and it’s not on Facebook. It’s with the people who have invited me into their life, their family, and their hardships and the people whom I have invited into mine.

So in those moments when we see something online that reminds us that we don’t have as many friends as we thought we did, or the people who ‘like’ a lot of my posts aren’t necessarily rooting for me I’m finding that I need this simple reminder and perhaps you do too…

There is a place I am wanted. There is a place where I am desired. A place where I am beautiful.

There is a place where I will be included. There is a place where I will belong. A place where I never feel the sting of rejection.

This place is warm, inviting, loving, caring, inclusive, comfortable, and safe.

This place is in the arms of Jesus. That’s the ONLY place of consistency and true value.

Are you feeling alone? Run, don’t walk, to the arms of Jesus. Let Him cover you with His grace and mercy and forgiveness. Let Him cover every moment of loneliness with His presence. He is big enough, He is strong enough, He is enough for whatever you got for Him.

And let people in. Let people into your real life, not just your online life. Let people love you. If you are a believer, let the church love you in a real way by letting them in, even when you’re unsure, insecure, or afraid. Let them know how you feel and then let God use the people He’s surrounded you with to encourage you, sharpen you, see you for who you are and love you.

Here’s a tough one for me: Let people HELP you. You cannot do this life on your own and yes, that rejection or hurt will come, even from someone of similar faith, but forgive and allow Christ to mend those hurts. The people who God has designed for your life will be in it if you let them be. The adventures Christ has in store for you will come at a cost but know that even the sting of rejection is something specific to this life here, not the one Christ has for you for eternity.

And so I sang today in church, it is well, with my soul. Even when the circumstances of this world are unpredictable and even unfavorable, He has secured a future of peace and safety for me, in His arms.

These words are something God has been speaking to me this week so I hope they are encouraging to you, no matter what mountain is in front of you, He will throw it into the midst of the sea.

8 oz. semi sweet chocolate
6 tbsp butter
2 tbsp instant coffee powder (I used decaf so my son could eat them)
1/3 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp sea salt (optional)

1.       Melt the chocolate, the butter and coffee powder in the microwave by heating them 30 seconds at a time and stirring in between. Stir until smooth and melted. Let that cool a bit.

2.      Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt in a small bowl.

3.      In a medium bowl whisk the eggs, sugar and vanilla until light.

4.     Add the chocolate mixture and whisk until fully incorporated.

5.      Fold in the flour mixture until just combined. Cover in plastic wrap and leave in the fridge for 1 hour or overnight so you can bake in the morning before work.

6.      Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

7.      Line a few cookie sheets with parchment paper.

8.      Drop dough onto cookie sheets about 2 inches apart (yes that far apart because the cookies will flatten more than you think!)

9.      Bake for 10-12 minutes.

10.    Top each cookie with a pinch of salt if you like but I did not. Enjoy!