52 Dozen. Week 6. Who Do I Say You Are?

-->

-->

52 Dozen. Week 6.

The Newest Neighbors.

Our neighborhood has acquired a few new families over the last three years and I must admit I haven’t been the best at trying to get to know them or reaching out.

When the newest neighbor moved in across the street I knew she was a single mom of two daughters. One was older and I didn’t see her much and the other was younger, perhaps elementary school. Just a month after she moved in another family with 4 little ones moved in two doors up the street. When they first moved to the neighborhood we were in the adoption process and outside both of us working full time and me being overcommitted in several volunteer positions I felt like each evening was filled with some form of paperwork.

I first met them as I chased our dogs around the neighborhood (they were running from me). We were testing out a new theory to see if we could train the dogs to stay in the yard and not wander before we got a fence. Obviously they failed and we ended up with a fence. I remember being on our back patio on the phone talking to my husband who was away on business when the dogs so happily ran out of the yard and back towards the front of the house. Of course I had to go running after them, barefoot, through the neighborhood. I ran straight through a large pile of briar vines I had pulled out of the lawn as a bit of surprise yard work I did for my husband while he was gone. I was shoeless, in pain, and clearly frustrated as I chased the dogs. The newest neighbor was in her yard with her youngest daughter who wanted to pet the tame dog I was wringing the neck of as I escorted him to the house. I didn’t want to be rude so I stopped to let her pet the less-blameworthy culprit of the prank. After she pet him for 30 seconds I rallied him into the house. Jack is definitely my less adventurous dog but I still had to go chasing after Maggie, my much more rebellious thrill-seeker. I found her in another neighbor’s yard taunting Princess, their street-roaming dog. Princess is a little protective of her driveway but Maggie, filled with gumption, proceeded to poop smack dab in the middle of their yard as Princess charged after her from the house. I tactfully distracted the neighbor by talking about the stupid dog running off so he didn’t notice the massive dump she just left in his yard. After she did her deed and Princess was nearing, she ran at me as if I was there to protect her. I gave a good, almost believable, laugh about the incident and went inside with the scruff of Maggie’s neck in my hand and sat down on the couch in a sigh of relief.

What a first impression huh?

Throughout the last two years my husband helped this neighbor do a few things like shovel her driveway from ice/snow and fix and rehang the tire swing she bought for her daughter but I still never worked up the courage to make friends. Because of our ‘story’ and how easily the question of children comes up from curious onlookers of couples who have none I spent a season not really interested in inviting new people into the audience of our ‘story.’ Through that stage in life I felt as if we had few friends, or at least few friends we let close to us out of fear of being misunderstood by the loss we were going through but simultaneously called to do something different with our family. I also didn’t want to explain myself and our adoption (and the path God brought us on to get there) to people who I barely knew so making friends wasn’t really on my to-do list.

The following year I didn’t invest myself into becoming friends because just as temperatures were dropping into what I call my “hibernation months” I learned I was miraculously pregnant with our son. I had to go through hormone treatments multiple times each day and we chose not to announce until I was to the half-way point. So again, making friends really wasn’t on my to-do list.

This past year I had a newborn and it was cold…so we stayed inside A LOT. So again…making friends wasn’t on my to-do list.

Throughout the past year as I’ve struggled to find a good pattern between working a job I’m very passionate about outreaching to the community, having a little person who needs every bit of my attention and energy, and keeping my marriage fresh, fun, and loving. The first few months I had a bit of postpartum depression that I was battling. I was so happy to have this sweet little boy but I was overwhelmed by the expectations I had for motherhood that I didn’t even realize I had until he was here. I expected more friendships with more commonalities; instead I’ve found more isolation. I expected to feel constant love and affection and this sweet little snuggly baby that would just love me, instead I’ve found that babies are the most selfish creatures on the planet (which I knew but not as much as I know now). Hear me say that every day I am soooo thrilled watching my son learn, grow, and develop more of a sweet, adventurous personality. I love him more than I can explain, but it doesn’t negate the fact that he is selfish and everything in life is now about him and his needs being met—it goes without saying that this is a new change in life and a draining one.

What I realized when I took on this challenge of baking with a purpose and truly LIVING with a purpose it meant acknowledging all the things God has placed in my life, all the people He’s put around me, and all the ‘chance’ happenings that He allows (and controls) to occur.  If I made my list of cookie recipients and didn’t include my neighbors (ESPECIALLY those I hadn’t made any effort to meet), I would be seriously missing out on WHERE God has placed my family and potentially missing out on how I can really take His charge to ‘love my neighbor’ to a real level.

A church we attended and loved when we first moved to NC was City Church Charlotte. They did things that were directly linked to their church mission to be REAL, RELATIONAL, and RELIGION-FREE; that really resonated with our faith walk as a family from the beginning and it still does today. I want to be REAL with people, live in real life and have real expectations for others and myself. I want my faith to be RELATIONAL, I use that word to describe more than my relationship with Jesus Christ – it should describe my life and how Jesus has played a role in my relationships (all of them). I want to be religion-free. I don’t want to love my neighbor because it’s a commandment I’ve been given, I want to love my neighbor because I see how awesome God has created them, their unique personalities and how loving them helps me better understand a God that created them, and myself.

Here, on Ash Wednesday, in a season of renewal and repentance, I found I spent a lot of my bake time repenting for overlooking them for so long and finding excuses not to reach out to them, most of them very selfish. Each Lent I reflect on the verses out of Luke where Jesus asks His disciples, 

“Who do the crowds say I am?” and then later asks “But what about you? Who do YOU say I am?”

Luke 9:18-20 (NIV)

¹⁸ Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?”

¹⁹ They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.”

²⁰ “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Peter answered, “God’s Messiah.”

Each Lent I ask myself “Who do I say You are?” and as a subsequent question I’ve asked “And how do I say it?” In years past I would say Lent and the season of answering this question compelled me to be more active in the community and reaching the least of these because God has given me a heart of compassion but this year I’m already seeing how I’m answering this question differently and nearing 30 years old this year I’m pretty amazed at how years of a relationship with Jesus has lead me to hear Him more clearly now baking than I did in other quests to serve and love.

I also spent my baking time praying for newest neighbors, their families, and their lives. I really enjoyed meeting them both during our most recent snow day-it was a gift to finally talk to both about their families and small talk about their lives and finding out a few things we had in common. I found out the mom two doors down works for our local government just like me AND has an adopted son, which is a part of a recent thread of people God has placed in my life that have adopted. Over the last three months I’ve met FIVE other families (all through ‘chance’ meetings or work) who have adopted and I am LOVING that God is answering a prayer I’ve had from the beginning of this calling-that He would intentionally put us in a position where other children He has for our family would be surrounded by others like them. Pretty cool that we discovered some common ground in a short conversation with sledding children zooming by! I found out my closest neighbor, the one I met over the runaway dog incident, is a teacher for an elementary school where I have volunteers delivering food each week and that her oldest daughter may be attending school to become a social worker.

I explained my year-long project as our conversation came to a close and thanked them both for our time together, I wanted to warn them that they would be my next recipients of baked goodness. I was so grateful for the timing of this snow day and even apologized for not reaching out sooner. I hope there is more in store for my friendships with these two sweet women. With children older than mine, they surely have some wisdom for me as our family grows. I realize now that perhaps God had no intention to isolate me over the last year of motherhood, but rather put me in a position to be more intentional and PRESENT with those He’s already surrounded me by. This project is helping me do that and as I start the season of Lent I have decided to function with less stuff (and less overthinking), embrace simplicity, and embrace the ones God has very intentionally placed around me. And they better prepare to be baked for this year!

The cookies this week were actually brownies…RED VELVET BROWNIES.

Red Velvet Brownies

Ingredients:

• 1 box (18.25 oz) red velvet cake mix
• 1 box of brownie mix

Directions:

1. Follow instructions on cake mix box up until the pre-bake directions.

2. Follow instructions on brownie mix box until the pre-bake directions.

3. MIX THE TWO BATTERS TOGETHER.

4. Add ½ cup of chocolate chips

5. Bake for about 3/4 amount of time listed on brownie box.

DONE. Bam.

Baker’s Review:

I love how easily ANY cake mix can mix into brownies. I decided to go with Red Velvet for one obvious reason: it’s awesome. Mixing the batters also makes double making it easy to have something less standard than the normal cake or brownie but making more for a crowd so it seems fancier. We love doing this in our house, although we usually do it with orange cake, the red velvet was a rich treat. Vince adored these brownies but they were a bit chewier than he’s used to. I also made them in a mini-cupcake tray (24 slots) so they were “bite size” which made him think he could take a much bigger bite but the chewy aspect made for one over stretched cheek! He took a nice healthy bite and loved it so he took another before chewing it, which made him look like a chipmunk, but he finished it all very quickly with very little mess! I found these to be quite wonderful heated up for 8 seconds. One was also a nice treat on top of ice cream. Overall, if you’re looking for something VERY rich and satisfying with only one bite, these are your best bet!

52 Dozen. Week 5. My Mom.

-->

52 Dozen. Week 5.

My Mom.

My mom came to visit us for a month and just left to go back home last week. The night before her flight was leaving I wanted to bake her cookies and of course devote some thought and prayer to her safe travels home.

We ended up talking instead.

She’s not the most eloquent speaker; in fact my dad has coined the phrase “Annaese” to explain her own little language and funny phrases that don’t always make sense. But she’s always known how to encourage me.

From the beginning I can remember my mom always being a gentle, sweet spirit. She is so patient even in very frustrating circumstances. I think beyond demonstrating many of the qualities I wanted to be when I myself became a wife and mother, my mom is definitely the one who led me to my faith. She was never the type to go door-to-door evangelizing nor was she the type to lead the local small group but she’s remained faithful. She has stuck to her faith even when life had its challenges. She’s not one to dwell on the bad or ask “why me?”

I remember going to a conference a few years ago and the speaker was Ann Graham Lotts. She talked about how to guide your children but most importantly, how to lead them to Christ. She asked one simple question, “why would you want anyone besides yourself to lead your child to Christ?”

This resonated with me. As someone who has led several children to Christ as a leader in the children’s ministry at my church growing up it hit home. No one can predict when a child, or person, will feel ready to commit his or her life to Christ, but to know you played an intricate role in that life-changing decision feels so sacred. I can definitely say I would not have chosen Christ at such a young age without my mom.

My mom positioned my life in such a way that I saw Christ in her. I saw Him in her patience and faithfulness to Him in all circumstances. I saw Him in her love, unconditionally, for her family. I saw Him in the her acceptance and love for His plan for her to be adopted by her biological aunt and calling her ‘mum’ without ever really defining herself by her adoption, she clearly defines herself as a daughter of God. I saw Him in how she treated my dad, my sister and me. My mom allowed me to see her shortcomings without feeling like she had to compensate for them; she really allowed me to see that God filled in the gaps, not our own self-correction, but grace. She allowed me to learn that God was calling me in His own way without her forcing me to believe, she allowed me see Him by pointing to Him.

As I grew up I saw her as steadfast and dependable. She never seemed to waver in her faith, even when the church let her down, and let down my family. Her faith in everything God is was constant and unaffected by other’s human mistakes.

As an adult she supported my decisions and believed in my intentions to follow after dreams God had placed in my heart. She met my husband before he was mine and supported me in pursuing marriage even though I was so young, 19 to be exact.

When we were told that we would never have children her AUTOMATIC reaction without hesitation was “God has a plan and I know He’s shared with you that He wants you to be a mother, so let Him call you to that in His way.” She didn’t care about the medical details. She didn’t care about speaking her opinion about what our next steps should be, medical or otherwise. She didn’t even sway us to or away from adoption even though she knew her life had been so positively affected by being adopted. She just wanted me to be OK. She just wanted me to know she loved me and supported me. She just wanted me to know that God knew what He was doing.

When we felt God’s call on our family to adopt she didn’t question His voice in our hearts and prayers. She simply encouraged.

When we miraculously became pregnant with my son, she was the first I told even though she didn’t realize it…

I told her that God had a baby for us but that she needed to pray for health, safety, and protection. She agreed and began praying. We didn’t announce that I was pregnant to our families (or anyone) until I was nearly past my first trimester and almost done with my hormone treatment to sustain the pregnancy. She never offered any indication of doubt that God knew what He was doing.

She was brave enough and generous enough to come live with us for three months after our son arrived to help me. And even though I wasn’t very good at accepting her help, she was patient with me, and forgiving of me, while I was trying to find my way.

When we started to focus back on our adoption, she never once asked me “so why are you still going to adopt?” She just has a way of demonstrating her support without feeling like she has to tell me what she thinks. She trusts that God speaks to my husband and me about choices we’re about to make.

The past year has flown by and we haven’t seen each other very much, living 16 hours apart, we’d only gotten to visit Missouri once.

Her coming for the past month was just one of many times that my mom took the opportunity to come simply to love me (and my husband and son). She was able to step in and watch Vince a lot over that month. Unknowingly, our dog became very sick the week leading into her visit and taking the dog to and from the vet everyday after her surgery was pretty taxing on us. A week after the dog’s surgery Vince became sick enough that he couldn’t attend his 3-day per week daycare so mom spent the time with him so I could continue to work. I became sick also, which led to her getting sick and she stepped in to help tremendously then too, even while sick. The month of having her here really made me realize how badly I wish we lived closer to each other.

It’s ironic to find peace in the fact that time flies between our visits when it’s that very time that makes me miss my family. God gives us many forms of family whether it’s actual family or friends but I am so grateful for my mom, the woman she is, and the woman she has helped me become. She’s always treated me like my own person and given me the freedom to be my own person and always done it without withholding support and love.

That is the kind of wife and mom I strive to be. I don’t want to control who my husband or son becomes, I want to be a compass pointing to Christ and trusting in HIS power to call them closer to Himself. I’m so grateful to have a husband of faith who leads our family with dignity, commitment, and courage. I’m so grateful to have my miraculous son and even in his young age his love for other children is so evident. His interest in learning new things and sense of adventure encourages me that God is already calling Him to be a man like his dad. I want to be the kind of wife and mother that supports, cares, and loves regardless of any obstacles. That is the character of Christ. That is who my mom has been to me.

Orange Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:

• 1 box (18.25 oz) orange cake mix
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 large eggs
• 1/3 cup vegetable/canola oil
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 and 1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Line large baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the cake mix and baking powder. Set aside.

3. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs, oil, and vanilla by hand. Add the egg mixture to the

   cake mixture and stir to form a dough- stir vigorously until all of the pockets of dry cake mix

   are gone. Gently mix in the chocolate chips.

4. Drop rounded balls of dough, about 2 Tablespoons each, onto prepared baking sheet. Stick a

   few more chocolate chips on top of the cookie dough balls if you want them for looks, if

   desired. Make sure the balls of dough are taller than they are wide. See here for more details.

5. Bake for 10 minutes – do not let the cookies get brown. Allow to cool on baking sheet for 3

   minutes; they will be very soft at first. As they cool, the tops may settle down; press them

   down gently with your fingers if they are not sinking much. Transfer to a wire rack to cool

   completely. Store in an airtight container for up to one week.

Baker’s Review:

These cookies have been a favorite for years. I first discovered the great combo of orange and chocolate at a local bakery and went home to immediately figure out something I could make as a “fix” to this addition. My mom specifically requested these cookies before leaving and even though we ended up talking the night before she left and these had to be shipped to her, I have no doubt they will satisfy her sweet tooth. These are always a hit with my husband, an equal orange/chocolate addict but this was the first time my son got to enjoy them. I hate to say but after 5 weeks of doing this, he officially KNOWS what the cookie jar is. He KNOWS what’s in it and he KNOWS he wants whatever it is. Thankfully he’s only one so he can’t see much of what’s on the counters yet but I have a feeling if I keep this up I’ll have to hide the jar! Especially since he is mastering the art of climbing, specifically on top of the dining table. Thank God our counters are much higher that that. My son devoured this cookie with wide eyes and enthusiasm. Thanks to four teeth coming in on top and three official bottom teeth, he is totally digging chewy stuff right now and almost scoffing at the little “baby bites” I’ve been chopping up and putting on his plate at each meal. He wants to use those teeth! These yummy, fruity, and chocolatey cookies gave him a chance!

These aren’t your normal cake mix cookies. I know there is a much simpler recipe where you can take ANY cake mix and make cookies out of it by using one less egg and no water in the mixing process BUT that recipe still creates light fluffy, cake-like cookies. THIS receipe, using ANY cake mix flavor creates real, legit cookies. They are chewy and soft but not fluffy like cake would be or your standard “cake-cookies.” So feel free to use this recipe with some creativity! Pick your favorite cake mix, your favorite mix-in (reese’s pieces, heath bar pieces, oreo crumbs/chunks, chocolate chips, Andes mint pieces, etc.). You can even pour this into a larger pan and make it like a brownie! YUM!