Triplets
and One Year Later
One year
ago this week we said “yes” and started making plans to bring home THREE babies
from a local hospital as our sons. A set of triplets was born in a nearby
hospital and our social worker called us to see if we were interested in
adopting them.
Just
remembering that phone call brings a smile to my face because I’ve never felt
such extreme fear and extreme happiness at the same time. When you are on a
waiting list at an adoption agency you have this unspoken fear that no one will
ever choose you. Dozens of expecting women would read your profile and fail to
see you as a good choice for their child. You’d wait, and wait, and wait, only
to be disappointed and confused. You sit there feeling such confidence that The
Lord asked you to adopt a child needing a forever family and then it would
never happen. So the happiness of getting that phone call mixed with the fear
of inability to be as wonderful at it as you thought you’d be is an
unexplainable feeling. After getting a small amount of information from our
social worker I was faced with the duty of calling my husband while he was at
work to ask what he thought. Can you imagine that phone call?! It’s probably
everything you imagine and more. A lot of “I just don’t know…” and “How could
we make this work??” and “I don’t think we can do this…” But then we reached a
point of silence in the phone call and I couldn’t contain the tears. Just as my
husband could hear me starting to cry over the phone line he said “We have to
say yes.” I stopped crying just long enough to agree. And suddenly my tears
were not because I was scared, my tears had birthed those boys in my heart.
Somehow in some miraculous, instantaneous way I felt as if those boys were my
sons and I could not say “no.” And I knew that’s exactly how my husband felt
too. The Lord had shifted our hearts in His timing to reassure us that even
though we could not do this, He could. He could move mountains to accomplish
whatever He called us to. He would make the way. So I called our social worker
back and said “OK! Let’s do this!”
Within
hours we had online shopping carts containing two more cribs, a quad stroller
(who knew?!), more bottles, and we even started pricing a second van. Going
from a family of three to a family of six in one day would be no easy task.
A lot of
people remember as we were waiting to adopt a baby we were partial and
‘preferred’ a girl. We had this image in our mind when we prayed for our family
of our family containing a little girl, that image is still there and seems
almost unshakable some days. But the more we prayed, the more convicted we felt
that we should be open to whatever God would give us. We certainly haven’t
gotten to choose much in the realm of our family, why would the call to adopt
be much different? How could we be open to an unexpected pregnancy anytime for
a period of years (apart from the first three months of marriage we have never
utilized birth control of any form) and not be open to whatever child God would
send us through adoption? The more we
felt that conviction, the more our hearts opened and shifted to an
unexplainable joy and expectation of whatever happened. We contacted our social
worker and changed our ‘preference’ to any child, any age, any medical
background, any exposure, anything. We’d embrace what came knowing God had it
covered!
We got the
phone call about the triplets THE NEXT DAY. How’s that for God’s timing?
It’s
obvious we didn’t end up bringing the triplets home. Two days before we thought
we’d be getting details about picking them up we got a phone call that the
parents of the babies had chosen to parent them, not place them for adoption.
And as we learned more about the situation we are very happy they chose to do
that. The logistics of three new babies was daunting for that family but over
the first few days other family members started to step up and offer help in
numerous ways making it possible for the boys to stay with their birth family,
which is always the best option when possible.
God knew
we’d be sad and the mourning period was different than what I expected, I’d
never experienced this kind of loss. I’ve lost pregnancies but to see these
boys’ picture and imagine them in my arms, running on soccer fields, jumping
into the van of the car pickup line, playing with my oldest son as his
brothers, literally seeing them in our family forever…to have all those images
so quickly, so easily, and then have them gone just as quickly is a feeling
I’ve never felt in my life. God met us in those days of mourning and offered
quick comfort and reassurance that even with our disappointment and confusion,
He was still working.
Five days
later we got the call about our son. He was a four-month-old little boy in a
chaotic and crisis situation who needed a family very quickly. Our social
worker wanted us to meet her at the agency that day to go together to a local
fast food restaurant and meet this sweet boy’s birthmother. We got very vague
information and had a lot of questions but we ultimately said “yes!” knowing
that God would do the rest. At the end of our phone call arranging the meeting
our social worker told us to bring a car seat. The birthmother liked our
profile the most and if she liked our meeting she said we would be bringing him
home that night as our son.
Before my
husband and I could ask any more questions our social worker hung up the phone.
As I scrambled to pick my jaw up off the floor and find my pulse I frantically
called half a dozen friends to watch my oldest son, pack a whole new diaper bag
for a 4-month-old boy and start the ridiculous process of bagging the girls
clothes that took over the nursery and digging out every piece of clothing we
had kept from our oldest son.
Our meeting
went very well and we gladly and excitedly welcomed our second son, JR, into
our little family. I’ll have to write another blog about our first few days.
The chaos of those days is kind of hilarious to think about now. JR is
everything we didn’t expect but everything we know The Lord prepared us for. He
reminds us everyday that God will move mountains to get us where we ultimately
belong, if we would just abandon our preferences, abandon our fears, and in
many ways abandon our selfish nature to embrace His ability to do ANYTHING, embrace
His favor to work His ways, and embrace His will even when it seems so
different than ours. By setting our preferences aside God has granted us favor
in allowing us to serve as so much more than just JR’s parents.
This year
has been a hard one and we’ve encountered a lot as the enemy has tried to stir
drama, sowing seeds of doubt, fear, and anxiety. But in many ways this year of
battle has been one of strengthening. God has used every struggle to refine us,
make us lean on Him, rely on Him, and see how much trust can grow when He
prevails in everything we face. In every instance we felt our flesh trying to
act and speak out, we learned how to take a step back and allow God to do the
work in the spiritual realm through our prayers rather than us making our own
way. We’ve seen great favor in many areas as we have remained in The Lord, even
if our only prayer is “I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.” We’ve seen how
much deeper love grows when you are faced with fighting for it. We’ve seen how
attached we can become to someone who was once a stranger and now is nothing
short of OUR OWN and even above that, God’s own. Our oldest son has gotten to
see The Lord work in his own heart, making a stranger his brother and that has
been one of the most beautiful things I’ll ever know. We’ve experienced more of
the enemy’s attacks but more of God’s personal intervention, glory, and victory
in the last year than perhaps our entire lives.
After
almost a year of parenting him, we are excited to have finally received his new
birth certificate naming us as his parents, what a gift!
So as we
prepare to celebrate our son’s Gotcha Day on June 26th my heart is
remembering where God led us to bring him to our family forever. I’m
remembering and embracing every fear, every worry, and every hurt along the
road because in each of those God has had victory, given peace, and brought us
closer to Him.
JR is such
an amazing little boy and we love him with a fierce kind of love! There is so
much about his story that proves his tremendous resilience, he’s an amazing fighter
filled with passion and joy. JR’s incredible determination will take him so far
in this life and we hope will tunnel him into a lifelong God-designed
adventure!
We are privileged,
honored, humbled, and excited to serve as his parents. We ask for your
continued prayers that we do that task well, with honor, and giving God the
glory for how much He’s already done in this little boy’s life and in our
family’s hearts. Every time I see this sweet boy dance to worship music and
grab our hand to pray I praise and thank God that He’s given us the opportunity
to share The Gospel with both our sweet boys, what an honor.
I truly
wish I could share more of his story with you because it would demonstrate even
more how amazing he is, and how amazing God is, but it is his story to tell,
not ours. We can celebrate and share how he joined us and how we are learning
as his parents because that’s our story. We appreciate you joining us in prayer
as we continue on in this adventure. Who knows what God will do next but we feel
like He’s up to something big!
