This is How He Does It...

This is How He Does It

The Lord has really been fighting some evil thoughts in my mind lately:

You’re not good enough.

You don’t have everything you need to parent well, or even OK.

You are weak.

You are tired.

You aren’t strong enough.

You won’t love enough.

You don’t have enough support.

I have two friends who have adopted and each told me to be on the lookout because in these next few months we will be entering a spiritual battlefield. The enemy will try to strip my marriage of joy, my life of support and encouragement, and my day of time. Pray, pray often, ask others to pray for you and pray for that birth family. That birth family is being faced with a choice that no one can really ever be prepared for.

The first time we started the adoption process in 2013, this is just about the part in the process when I found I was miraculously pregnant with my son so I’ve been a little weary lately. Way too many people who don’t understand our excitement about this unique journey to parenthood have been saying, “Watch out! You’re going to end up pregnant again!” and laugh about it. I can’t say how grateful I am for the opportunity to experience pregnancy and have my son against all odds this world threw our way BUT I am equally excited about the fact that God has called us to adopt and giving us this unique opportunity to get to know Him as a parent so imagine how confusing and actually sad it was for my husband and I to pull out of the adoption process three years ago.

We are thrilled to be back to this point and feel God used that season three years ago to better prepare us and give us even more anticipation and excitement about this time around. We are also seeing where we lacked a lot of friends and support three years ago whereas this time we feel the Lord has given us so many more supports, prayer warriors, and friends than we had the last time around. We can see where the timing of this unique journey makes more sense with my newfound work schedule and position. We can truly see the Lord’s hand on our progress this time. But that means we are prime real estate for the enemy to try to tear down what the Lord is clearly taking our family.

As I’ve felt that pressure and that push to question God, question myself, question everything about this process I’ve been finding myself talking scriptures and reminding myself of God’s promises to me more and more this week.

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:37

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.

Ephesians 6:16

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

There’s so many more but these are the ones that I keep praying through whenever the enemy has a hold of my thoughts and it happens so many times throughout every single day that I have to stop what I’m doing for just a moment and remind myself of everything God has promised.

Two things have happened over the last week that have confirmed to me that God is not just here in a spiritual sense, He is walking right beside us in a PHYSICALLY and quite literally holding our hands.

A few weeks ago Chad’s truck broke down and after pushing it home he found out the part he needed to fix it would cost $233. He’s been putting it off to save the money but over the years we’ve found that the truck and our Corolla (Chad’s main vehicle to work) break interchangeably. As soon as the truck is broke down, the Corolla needs repair and so it’s gone for a few years. That’s why it’s been really nice to have the two vehicles; they’ve both been paid off for the last 6+ years so why not keep them both so there’s always a backup for the inevitable repair. Knowing that the truck needed to be fixed soon I opened the mail on Friday to find a check, dated 8/13/15 for $240.61 from our doctor from a service dating 10/22/13, the birth of our son. Apparently we overpaid our doctor by $240.61, almost the EXACT amount of the part for Chad’s truck with tax.

This is how He does it. This is how the Lord operates!

How would that check have taken two months to arrive in my mailbox? How did it take two years to discover we overpaid at the birth of my son?! The Lord knew we would need that money exactly when we did.

Even more recently, Chad had to pull an all-nighter last night because of an audit going on at work so even though he just worked a 16-hour day he stayed up all night to work through his to-do list for work and even some of our home study paperwork. I stayed up all night with him because historically I’ve always done that as a way to support him, that dates back to every all-nighter he pulled getting his engineering degree. I launched our Facial Fur for a Family fundraising website almost entirely by myself (even with my lack of technical skills) and somehow finished it!

This morning I woke up after a 2-hour nap with more energy than I’ve had in weeks. I woke up with joy, I felt the mercy of the Lord splash over my body and rejuvenate me in a fresh way. I woke up our son for school and even he was in a wonderful mood full of sweet hugs and smiles. We woke up with time to spare to enjoy breakfast together at the table before leaving to take him to school. I had a FULL morning planned and felt almost certain I wouldn’t be able to get it all done and I’d end up working late and SOMEHOW I got seven different errands in three sections of town done in my first 2 hours of the day!

And icing on the cake, the enemy whispered all kinds of mess in my head about how unsuccessful this beard fundraiser would be and how I was wasting effort. Let me tell you we already have over 65 separate views and 7 “votes” sold within the first 10 hours of having the website live!!

This is how He does it. This is how the Lord operates!

All day long I had the song “It is Well” playing on my phone and I was able to share God’s goodness with several women this morning and offer up the things He’s doing to encourage me as an encouragement to them in some things they are facing.

Well now, you’ve got me pinned on a lot of things but I’ll own it:

I’m not good enough…BUT GOD IS.

I don’t have everything I need to parent well, or even OK…BUT GOD DOES.

I am weak…BUT GOD IS STRONG.

I am tired…BUT GOD IS RELENTLESS.

I’m not strong enough…BUT GOD IS.

I won’t love enough…BUT GOD ALWAYS WILL.

I don’t have enough support…GOD SUPPLIES ALL MY NEEDS.

BUT GOD.

“BUT GOD” is how my son came into this world and “BUT GOD” is how our family will continue to operate. It is well with my soul no matter what the world has for me, God has overcome the world and I trust Him.

Brown Sugar Molasses cookies were made for some special women in my life: my son’s teachers, they are always so kind and understanding even when my toddler is not. Another batch was given to a friend and volunteer who had a birthday this week and continues to deliver even having changed to a full-time job where I know it’s inconvenient but she does it with a willing and joyful heart, plus she always makes me laugh. And a third batch to another friend who volunteers who is starting a new prayer and encouragement group and has included me; I know the Lord has given me her sweet spirit over this new season of parenthood and I’m excited to be a part of this new weekly encouragement/prayer group.

I’ll add the recipe in just a bit, but I had to get my gratitude for this past week out there to any of you who maybe needed to hear that the levee will break soon! Hang in there, your “BUT GOD” is right around the corner!!